Business and Personal Relationships

Four separate conversations with colleagues about my last blog post (customer neglect) took the same odd turn. It started out with a discussion of customer loyalty and, at some point, the conversation evolved or abruptly switched channels to a personal relationships - specifically, dating and marriage. And it struck me that there are many similarities, such that it is a natural metaphor.

A person who is unmarried and unattached puts a great deal of effort in making themselves appealing and announcing their availability and communicating their interest in pursuing a relationship. In the same way, companies spend a lot of money advertising their products and services to the general public, hoping to catch attention and get someone to pay attention them, as a precursor to making a sale.

After that, there is the first date, and the person goes all-out to present an attractive package and be on their best behavior to make a lasting positive impression that will lead to a second date, then a third, and so on. And in the same way, a company that has gotten the attention of a prospect will take pains to behave in a way that they feel will impress the customer that they will be well-treated if they enter into a long-term relationship with the company.

(And as one colleague was quick to mention, some companies are out for a one-time sale, much as some people are out for a one-night stand, with much the same consequences when the customer figures this out and tells other customers what will happen if they deal with this same company.)

Provided that all goers well on the first date, there will be a second, and a third, and so on, as the relationship develops to the point where the relationship becomes exclusive. And in business, the customer who is satisfied with the experience of dealing with a company will return to them, and decrease the amount of business they give to the competition.

And after a while, the couple's commitment to one another gets to the point where they are ready to make a formal commitment to a long term relationship: i.e., marriage. There doesn't seem to be an equivalent ritual in the customer-vendor relationship. Arguably, it could be the point at which the customer signs a long-term contract with a vendor - though this is sometimes required by the vendor even for a "first date" (and it's worth noting that many companies are abandoning term contracts in favor of pay-as-you go programs, with an option to sign a contract at a later time), or in other industries there is no contract at all (though a customer's repeated purchases over time might be considered to be the equivalent of a common-law marriage).

Problems can occur at any moment in a relationship: it may be that a person discovers that the other party misrepresented themselves in the early stages - they are not really the person they pretended to be when they were dating - or perhaps they merely feel neglected or taken for granted. The same can be said of customers, when a business makes promises it doesn't deliver on during the time when they're pursuing the business, or when the level of care and attention paid to the customer diminishes over time.

And in a troubled relationship, a person might consider whether they have made the right choice. The prospect of breaking up and starting a relationship with a different person (perhaps even someone who is pursuing them) becomes increasingly attractive, and they may eventually begin seeing someone else "on the side." In much the same way, a customer who is dissatisfied or feeling neglected is constantly subjected to the advertising of competing firms that seek to win them away with promises of better treatment, and they may eventually be convinced to try another product, and move some portion of their business to the other firm.

If the relationship isn't mended, it is eventually abandoned: the couple stops dating, breaks up, or gets divorced. From a business perspective, this is the point at which the customer stops purchasing from the firm. It is probably much less dramatic than the end of a personal relationship, but I expect that the ex-customer, much like an ex-spouse, harbors feelings of resentment.

But on the brighter side, not all marriages end in divorce - many people remain happily married "for life." And in these instances, it's generally found that both parties have worked at maintaining the relationship and sustaining the romance - it doesn't "just happen," but requires constant attention and effort. And I suspect that, in the world of business, a company that has managed to maintain long-term customers often does so not because of customer complacency, but as the result of constant effort to ensure that the customer is happy with them, all along.

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This has gone on a longer than I had imagined - and perhaps I'm chasing down a metaphor at this point - but because the exploration has sustained my interest and sparked additional parallels, I have the sense that it's an apt metaphor, and it may be worth looking into some of those insipid self-help titles on personal relationships with an eye toward their applicability to the vendor-customer relationship ... though it may be some time before I can muster the patience to undertake that task.