Social interaction is a form of exchange, but rather than
currency and goods, the coin of the social realm is admiration. Most brands (and some people) fail to
recognize this: their desire is to be popular, to amass followers and have many
people like, comment upon, and pass along what they post in social media – but
they refuse to pay in kind. They wish
to collect admiration, but give no affection back to their admirers. And this is a violation of the unwritten
rules of social interaction.
Reciprocation is the very basis of society. People form alliances for practical reasons:
they get something from interacting with others. A one-sided relationship, in which one
person acts as a parasite upon another by constantly taking from them while
giving nothing in return, is highly undesirable – at least to the party who
acts as host to an ungrateful parasite.
Such people are disliked and, when the host has had their fill, they
become actively disliked and even shunned.
Yet this is the behavior of most brands in social media:
they are shameless self-promoters who want attention, and the celebrity status
of being adored by millions while remaining aloof and disdainful of their
followers. They do seem to pay general
lip-service – “we thank our customers” and “we appreciate our fans” – but in
terms of their behavior in general, it certainly doesn’t show. In this sense, it’s fair to say that most
brands are attention whores, who demand admiration and affection while giving
none in return – and yet they wonder why their social media campaigning has
such poor results.
Reciprocity is one of the most powerful weapons of influence, so powerful that it is a common tactic used by con artists: they
pretend to like someone, do them a small favor, and then ask for a much larger
favor in return. And quite often, they
get it. Normal people are fair in their
dealings with others, and this can be easily exploited – if someone likes them,
they feel they must like them back; if someone does them a favor, they feel
they owe a favor in return. They feel
uneasy, like the scales of justice are out of balance until they take action to
even things out. But to leverage this
propensity, one must take the initiative – to give before asking for something
in return.
This can be seen in social media: if you follow a person on
Twitter, chances are they will follow you back; if you view someone’s profile
on LinkedIn, chances are they will view yours; if you “like” someone’s post on
Facebook, chances are they will “like” one of your posts in a relatively short
amount of time. Show interest in someone,
and they will reciprocate by showing interest in you. But you must make the first move if you want
to initiate a relationship with another person.
Granted, this is not universally true: there is the concept
of the creep/stalker who follows people around on social media. Psychologically, men are more likely than
women to welcome the affection of a stranger (women take it as a threat) – and
it does depend on what kind of person is showing affection. There are some individuals who are
distrusted, whether for superficial reasons (their appearance or reputation) or
practical concerns (their behavior). But
for the most part, people respond warmly to those who warm to them.
But back on point: the behavior of most brands in social
media is entirely parasitic: they want to be “liked” and even abjectly beg
people to follow them, but they do not like or follow others in return. It’s rare, almost unheard of, for a brand to
“like” a post by one of their customers or prospects – and it seems to me that
if a brand wishes to make successful use of social media, it should consider
what it is willing to give in exchange for what it wishes to get.
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